Honor God, Raise Kids

We can make idols out of the strangest things. People idolize singers, athletes, old redwood trees, luxury cars,… and their children. Anything we hold above the Lord has the potential of becoming an idol. Sometimes that is our kids. Let me give you an example.

Eli was high priest during the time that Samuel was born. As a matter of fact, Eli was the priest that raised Samuel, after his parents brought him to the temple to be given to the Lord. Eli also had two sons of his own. The Bible tells us that these two were wicked and had no regard for the Lord. (1 Samuel 2:12). Their names were Hophni and Phinehas.

The Sins of Contempt

Two particular sins of Hophni and Phinehas were mentioned. First, custom allowed for the ministering priest to plunge a 3 prong fork into a boiling sacrifice and any meat that came out with the fork would be the priests cut. The fat would have already been burned and the meat tender at this point.

Greedy Hophni and Phinehas would, instead, force the person bringing the sacrifice to allow them a cut of the raw meat so they could roast it. They didn’t want the boiled meat. If anyone objected, they would force them to comply. The Bible spells it out clearly.

“This sin of the young men was very great in the Lord’s sight, for they were treating the Lord’s offering with contempt.”

1 Samuel 2:17

The second sin is mentioned when their own father confronts them for their wicked behavior. In that same chapter, Eli tells his sons he knows what they have “been doing to all of Israel” and how they had been sleeping with the women who served in the tent of meeting.

Besides the sexual sins, that God is more than clear about throughout scripture, the wickedness involved treating the sacred with contempt. Holy things (whether women or meat) were not held as holy, but used to satisfy their desires. They used their ministry, or standing, to benefit themselves. They told themselves that their titles, sons of Eli, “servants” of God, would cover their sins. The Bible says that they had no regard for the Lord.

When Warnings Aren’t Enough

Eli confronted them. He was ashamed that their actions had been told all over Israel. He even warns them that if a person sins against another man, God may mediate for them. But when you sin against God, who will intercede for them? Warnings. Warnings. Warnings.

“If I were you, I wouldn’t do that.”

“What are people going to say?”

“I know what you’re up to.”

But no action. Phinehas and Hophni kept their position. The sins continued. It’s just a little extra meat. The Ark of the Covenant was still in the neighborhood. God was still answering prayers. Life goes on.

Honoring God vs. Happy Kids

Then God sends an unknown prophet to Eli. The Lord’s message reminds Eli that God chose his father out of all the tribes of Israel to come before him and do the duties of the priest. Then God asks a couple of questions:

Why do you scorn my sacrifice and offering that I prescribed for my dwelling? Why do you honor your sons more than me…?

1 Samuel 2:29

Wait. Hold on. Eli wasn’t asking for the extra meat. How did Eli honor his sons above God? Reread. Think about that. This is God’s point of view and it is exactly right…of course.

To honor God means you regard His rules and laws and truths above all others. Family devotionals are not son Johnny’s desire or may not fit in Susie’s tight schedule, oh well. To borrow from Nike, “Just Do It”. We must train our children to hold God and His commandments in high regard, or else they learn to treat the holy things with contempt and God will ask us “Why?”.

Eli failed to correct his sons. They were now grown and more than likely had grown up treating the things of God with contempt. Looking back we would say, Eli should have not spared the rod the first time he saw them greedy in the sacrificial pot. He should have made them repent and apologize the first time they tried to beat down the givers. Maybe it started with them not cleaning the utensils correctly, skipping a few required blessings and offerings, or making light of other ways of God.

As a parent, I can imagine the thought process of Eli. “They are really good boys and boys will be boys. I mean, what guy doesn’t enjoy some roasted beef and a beautiful woman? My wife indulged them too much. At least they work ‘for the Lord’. I will talk to them next time. They’re still young men. They will mature.”

The Results were Not Pleasant

The unnamed prophet went on to tell Eli that his family would never have a man live to old age, starting with his two sons that would die on the same day. Those who lived would have trouble and would beg for a priestly position so that they might have a crust of bread. You can read two chapters later (ch. 4), that these prophecies come true, along with the deaths of Eli and Phinehas’ wife. The details are worth reading.

This compromise in the holy things called down God’s wrath. It was not just a piece of meat to Him. And when Eli allowed his sons to continue in a way not pleasing to God, he was honoring them above God. Let me say, that when we choose to please our children, even grown children, over the Lord we are asking for God’s correction.

Let me get a little more current. I’ve seen kids that aren’t made to come to church because “it should be their choice”. Why? It’s not my choice, is it? I am a Christian and the Lord said not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together. He didn’t ask me if I wanted to attend. What kid WANTS to sit on a pew/chair for an hour and listen to adults sing and speak? Yet, there, God speaks to our children, shows his holiness, and ministers through His Spirit. Most of the occasions when I don’t want to go to church, is the very service that God speaks so directly to me.

Some parents don’t want to tell their children that there is right and wrong. The world will not draw the lines and they have a hard time doing it as well. Some parents feel hypocritical because they didn’t live for Christ at their children’s age and so they don’t feel right demanding righteous living from their offspring. Don’t prefer your children’s love over the Lord. Hold up a standard to them and they will respect you for that. These rules are not yours, but God’s.

I’m sure that Hophni and Phinehas had friends that enjoyed the whole roasted lamb with their families. I’m sure the question came as to why they had to be satisfied with a 3 prong fork full of boiled meat. Sorry, Charlie. It’s God’s rules and we live by them. We trust that God has the best plan for us and a 3 prong fork is it. If you can’t live by these rules I will punish you, so that God won’t have to. God comes first.

When we compromise on holy things and allow our children to move the boundary lines, they lose their fear of Him. Remember, the Bible said they had no regard for God. I can’t imagine anything sadder to hear about our children. “Oh yea, my mom and dad are cool. They get me. I’m not into their big guy in the sky business, but they are cool.” No regard for God.

Won’t there be a fight? Yes.

Teach your children to fear the Lord. This doesn’t mean that you will grab them around the neck every Sunday and force them into a pew. It means you fear the Lord. You put God first in your life. Regard Him in your decisions, entertainment, and commitments. When His ways run counter to the wishes or desires of your children, God still comes first. That is training for the rest of their lives. When they learn to submit to God, submission to the other authorities in life will be much easier.

Let me insert a word here that belongs in all conversations of God and raising kids. LOVE. You will never please God or raise children without it. That’s a word for another blog, but I had to say what goes without saying.

How it’s done.

One last verse to encourage. If you will follow this, the battle will be easier as they grow. They will know why you are making these rules. They may not agree, but they will know WHOM you are putting first in the family.

“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

Deuteronomy 6:6,7

That’s the secret. The commandments should be points of conversation along life’s trails. Teachable moments can be filled with the Word of God. As your children misbehave in church or begin to push against God, talk about Him and His great love for them. Tell them a Bible story. Share a testimony of God’s goodness or judgment. Your God will be their’s.

Eli didn’t intervene in their wickedness. They grew up, got married, had children and died without regard for God. Even when he was warned of their pending death, Eli didn’t lead his family in repentance. It was too hard. Even later, young Samuel received from the Lord a message of warning, again, for Eli. His answer: “He is the Lord; let Him do what is good in his eyes.” (1 Samuel 3:18). He still refused to honor God above his kids.

He and his two boys died, all in one day. They grew up around God, all their lives, and died without knowing Him. I hate to end with a downer, but that is the story. Raising children is the hardest thing I have ever attempted. It takes tremendous wisdom and strength. And in my experience, loads and loads of forgiveness. You will have to make decisions beyond what you feel capable. You will have to draw lines where there is no chapter and verse. But God gives us a wonderful insight in this passage. Always, always honor God above the sons and daughters He has given you.