Here’s the thing. I’m not single. Haven’t been for 32 years. BUT I taught teenagers at church for 16 years and I have seen them grow older and navigate the waters of singledom. Some of them drowned. Others floated aimlessly. A few still sit on the shore and wait for the fish to jump out of the water and sweep them off their sandy feet. Then there were the very few that swam among the sharks, octopi, and bottom feeders and found their “Nemo”.
So, let me see if I can help. Very simply, you are looking for a front seat guy. Let me explain.
I’ve seen a lot of single girls looking for that fun guy who hangs out in the backseat. They find him just so irresistible. I mean girls just wanna have fun, right? And he is Mr. Fun.
Then there is Mr. Front Seat. He’s not so free and unrestricted. He’s got a steering wheel keeping him snug. There are things to do and places to go. He’s in the driver’s seat and that is what he is doing.
Let’s take a closer look.
Where are they going?
The first obvious distinction is where they are going. Front Seat Fellow is going somewhere. He has a plan, a goal, a destination. He’s not letting anyone determine his arrival or route or parking spot. He takes responsibility for his life and knows that all the decisions required to drive will get him where he is going. Front Seat has a plan for life.
Back Seat Boy is just along for the ride. He’s going wherever the crowd is going. He has no plans, no goals, or desired destination. He just enjoys the scenery and hopes against hope that he ends up somewhere “cool”.
Do They Use Directions?
Guys have earned the reputation for driving aimlessly for hours to avoid stopping and asking for directions. My husband will not do that because he knows that he can stop and his shameless wife will go in and ask exactly what town we are presently in. Either way, Front Seat Fellow will have a map, GPS, or navigator before striking out toward their destination. Life requires directions, from beginning to end. The Bible truly is that life map. Walk this way. Avoid this pitfall. Travel lightly here. Front Seat Fellow reads “the map” everyday to make sure they and their riders don’t get lost.
Back Seat Boy poo poos maps, directions, even GPS. Who needs all those restrictions? They know what’s fun and free and that’s their compass. As a matter of fact, they’re riding the backseat of life and rarely even notice the road.
Rules and Restrictions
Speaking of restrictions, Front Seat Fellow, knows the rules. He knows that traffic tickets raise insurance premiums, burning rubber means buying tires, and speeding down the highway means stopping for gas at the next exit. He knows that the choices today come as bills tomorrow. He knows safety is thinking about every rider in the car. He doesn’t consider risking your life, a thrill. Again, he has places to go and he has to live to get there.
Back Seat Boy doesn’t have the wheel, isn’t buying the gas or tires, and considers your life worth a risky ride. He will yell from the back to speed up, take the jump, or squeal some tires. Why not? He hasn’t paid for them and isn’t heading anywhere special. Life’s rules are to be broken and safety is for those who have something to live for.
Hunting for Change in the Back Seat
Then there is the money. There are more divorces over money differences than any other reason. So let’s look at Front Seat and Back Seat wallets.
Front Seat counts the cost. The Bible tells us the smart builder considers the cost before building his house. The smart soldier considers the cost before going to war. Mr. Front Seat will count the cost for his journey. He makes provision for gas, food, and fun. He also plans for the unplanned. Flat tires, brake jobs, and torn windshield wipers are all part of the trip. Life, too, has ups and downs financially and Mr. Front Seat is constantly aware of his present and future needs. He’s not hoping to find a $20 on the way into McDonald’s. He put $200 away last week to enjoy dinners out, even in retirement.
Back Seat Boy had $20 in his pocket until that first stop on the journey. He’s always wanted one of those giant cigarette lighters, so he bought two. Now he is all talk about when his big windfall comes. In the mean time, can you spot him a ten?
Entertainment Gets out of the Car
For the Back Seat Boy, the most important entertainment takes place in the back seat. You know what I mean. It’s how far, how fast, and how daring can those “backseat activities” be. He’s not interested in the great world outside or showing you some of the beauties of your shared community. He will satisfy himself. You will only be part of the entertainment.
Front Seat Fellow wants to enrich your life. “You’ve never eaten at Louie’s? Never seen the ocean? Gone to the top of the monument?” “Then we’re going!”
Front Seat Fellow wants to get out of the car. He will seek to find entertainment that builds relationships by shared experiences. He wants to do with life with you, not just “do you”. Yes, those urges are there, but he will recognize that you are a daughter of God and he will not be found guilty of anything crossing that line.
Front Seat Fun
And finally, Front Seat Fellow will stay awake and alert, offer conversation, and add to the pleasure of the ride. He points out things on the roads of life and enjoys the discussion as much as the drive. He listens too. He knows you have observations, destinations, and navigations to offer as well. You’re in this front seat together.
Back Seat Boy? Well, he is reclining in the back with earbuds and his phone. He didn’t hear the last 3 comments you made because he was too busy with his giant cigarette lighter. As a matter of fact, the last time you looked back, he had a foot sticking out the back window, lighter had fallen to the floorboard, and our back seat boy has fallen asleep.
You’ve all read this scripture:
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14
It’s the truth. We don’t have many oxen treading grain anymore, but one day you will yoke yourself to a man. If he is not going where you are going (church, heaven, a life of peace), not traveling at the same speed (You read your Bible and pray every day. He does on occasion.), and not enjoying the yoke you share (not willing to commit and share the load), then you are unequally yoked.
Seek the Lord and ask Him to find your Front Seat Fellow. He’s the one that will bear the yoke with you. He will follow the Lord’s directions. He will wear the yoke in such a way that you will find it lighter. There will be other oxen frolicking around, but pay no mind, you are yoked to your Front Seat Fellow.
Always good stuff!